If you can change the world... or perhaps just one person's thinking..

1. I am confronted with the possibility of putting myself right in the middle of the crossfire - the MRT project, with a controversial contract owner as a potential employer. As always, I'd need to examine my heart and pray the istikharah - not that I have even attended the interview.
2. To do this, I need to have a sincere positioning as to this opening. What is my role, and this role must be one that I can live with. Of course, the devil uses all sorts of bogeys to prevent decisiveness and encourage uncertainties - but alhamdulillah Allah has provided aql and also to reach out to Allah for hidayah.
3. Principles are as below:
• That I benefit the most people in my position of responsibility
• That I uphold truth and justice in my dealings. While this means exercising independent thought, this also means being able to discern the different roles of the different stakeholders.
• That I have the opportunity to do good to my family and to myself.. ie leave a legacy. 
4.  Now I've got that out of the way, let's examine facts about the MRT.
• by all accounts, extremely high cost vs all others. I'm not sure if inflationary effects and base raw material effects have been included in the consideration, but surely that is a question to be asked? Are the specifications common or there are additional features in the Malaysian design that seemingly inflated the costs to most worrying levels.
• That it seems rushed. The alignment has still not been sorted out for the Jalan Sultan, TTDI and perhaps other locations. The overall MRT masterplan is still out there somewhere. Yet this unsolicited MMC-Gamuda bid has been awarded at this inflated cost.
• Speaking of costs, does the Govt know how to value projects of this size? My prior experience in PBX2 seems to indicate they have no idea and the fact that there is willingness for the public sector to fund private sector profits indicate they are ignorant of a proper funding structure for these PPP/PFI type projects.
• Auctioneering is necessary otherwise government will always be beholden. Will the private sector refuse generous terms? Are there kickbacks involved? I wouldnt want to know if there are - but these are dangerous times to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to this types of development. The Arab Spring had "sprung" up in reaction to raging impotence to a sense of injustice. RM36b - RM50b can do that. The question will be what is the funding structure? Refusal to have open tenders, or a token Swiss Challenge, is insufficient.
• But again, Government is probably a bit smarter in that there is the added layer of building a "world-class private sector objective", although in this case, privatising profits is a strange way of doing it. There should be no additional subsidies / grants to support financing given the ridiculous profit margins for this and to consider the construction as purely a private sector play. Having said that, where is the breakeven for the operators?
• And here GoM has the trumpcard of a property play for the sites. And so, there is the answer for a rather complex equation. Does this mean the numbers work out? That remains to be seen.
5. So what would my role be? Primarily to deliver value to the company, increase credibility of the engineering profession, and ensure I turn out fine insyaAllah. May Allah guide me in my affairs.

Return to the origins

1. Bahasa has this nice proverb saying "kembali ke pangkal jalan" to signify life's typical journey of returning to fundamentals whenever we veer away from where we intend to go.
2. I've always had this feeling of chasing after money, no matter how interim, that objective becomes a domineering overwhelming instinct that eats up all our efforts, time and resources. No matter how noble the intent can be, ie looking after my family's interests and financial demands, it then becomes the mechanism where the original direction will be lost. There will be no balance, no proportion, and looking for proportion no matter how clearly it resides outside of the workplace now, it would be imbalanced when we lose the sense that Allah is the overriding, primary aim of life.
3. It has taken Sarah's leaving to ignite that need, now becoming a temporary single parent would naturally increase that reliance on Allah which I had quite conveniently left it by the wayside. It is time to return.
4. Just to add to the sense of unrealness, RTC has now initiated a video screening of proof that Anwar cannot control his Thamby. Talk of the inadequacy of someone raising libel on others. I cant visualise any other person with this kind of background displaying such a disregard of personal embarassment and shame, inability to find remorse and accountability, and no feeling of political responsibility to chase a personal vendetta. Society needs clean, clear-thinking, above this dirty politics that UMNO has become so synonymous with. I do feel a personal calling in this regard, and the call of money seems to be the only obstacle holding me back.
5. Elsewhere, Fukushima will result in a much increased cost of nuclear generation, and it remains to be seen if coupled with variability of oil price whether this could really push the envelope for RE generation, no matter how un prepared it is to become mainstream currently and the demands of subsidies to get it up. Certainly a business opportunity.
6. Wifey is overseas for the next 2 weeks - I'm bearing the brunt of the work at office and home in that period. I'll have to decide if this is worthwhile as a full-fledged career. Nevertheless, the demands of a PIBG Secretary, a business matching organiser, a scientific advisory technopreneur and a trainer could certainly be a productive alternative. 

Residuals - Ekuinas

Ekuinas - Funny name as it reminds me of horse-racing. Perhaps in the spirit of MIHAS’s halal beer, we can also have halal gambling? But I digress.

Not too sure what the proposition is to create another PE funding scheme in tourism, education and O&G, but it does look like a brilliant opportunity to tap into innovations and quality management products within the larger GLCs. We could possibly deploy the funds into “real” fundamental changes rather than “financial” funded opportunities, which after the hype, slowly descends into a tormenting, lingering death when unable to find the appropriate management directions to create lasting change. Food for thought?

Post-US trip trauma: Establishing structures for the future

1. I noticed that I havent posted for close to two months now. Just plain busy, cos then I was deep into execution of an acquisition (my first to boot), then with the PSDM training I conducted, and then the 2 week traveling and its after-effects, and only just trying to catch my thoughts now.

2. Part of the question I’ve been grappling with now is trying to identify what my interests are. I know I came into SWF with a determination to contribute towards RE. I retained my interests in energy through CIRED. I tried to kickstart things while obligingly trying to catch up with ls and biotech stuff. I guess my US jaunt rather jolted me into the reality of the world of innovations and how technology diffusion and commercialisation is created within the real-world now. No whimsical philosophising, just getting into the scheme of things and making sense of a commercial, material and capitalistic world to create something lasting and good.

3. I guess I cant run away from the philosophising if I want to contextualise the innovations and technology development within an Islamic perspective. But really, there’s no conflict or disconcordance. There’s merely standing for what is right and finding ways to allow Islamic thought to reign and float above the chaos.

4. Before I get into greater details there, perhaps, there’s also the need to ensure before I lose myself, and primarily before fz gets back that I structure my thoughts and ideas for the future. Envisioning can create the generative force and motivation I hope to live off for the next few years. It’d also hopefully create a firmness of thought and principled stance that could stand me on good stead when I try to unleash my assertiveness onto the positions I intend to develop and hold.

5. The grounding that I have in systems thinking and scenario planning should assist me to project and understand trends and relevant consequences into the future. It’s that future which should hold some form of relevance onto where we intend to develop and strategise and where we intend to form our path.

6. That path should include how technology is created, commercialised and utilised for the benefit of the ummah. I should define ummah here more generally to be that of mankind rather than that with artificial state borders as we have now, yet cognisant that primarily, the intended recipient of the benefits should be national interest first and foremost.

7. Projection and predicting the future is never easy because of the variability of the multiple factors. The endeavour, which should be a good and noble intent, must be taken with a commitment and seriousness never before matched in my previous projects, indeed calling for a basic retooling and realigning of my life and personality to suit this calling – this epiphany. I should make this my pursuit, with the final destination accruing to the benefit of the muslim ummah in particular.

8. To do this, I should think of structures and ways to peg the various imperceptible changes, and allow further analysis to be conducted. And that, in a nutshell, is what I have concluded after my US trip.

work residuals

it has been a funny week. One where I thot most of what I have will be whittled down, to lets look forward to next three months, and then, thereafter.

One where a first deal is completed, to one where probably next year will be a slow year, and *groan* research is on the agenda.

Assortments - reinforcement and tank filling greatly required

Wednesday, November 26, 2008; 16:19:27

Another assortments piece here – namely for key action steps:
personal and family strategies – for here and hereafter
tech and RE work strategies – developing institutional capacity
CIRED, energy and TNB – sustainable progress
Liverpool – keeping the momentum
making sure I am sustainable

First salvo, personal and family strategies.
the kids take precedence – and by that I mean their development as muslims & mu’min, their education, their akhlak and their disposition should be a primary concern.
Hence, selection of school is crucial. Ensuring the right school meets these objectives must be done right, and also the practical aspects, including finances and potential risks assessed in making this decision. Once, decision made, however, there should be no stones unturned to make sure the objective is achieved.
Central to this is also the issue of wifey getting the time, a critical resource to carry out this role effectively. If that means compromising on financials in the short-term, then adequate contingencies have to be thought through, as well as bracing ourselves mentally and physically to meet the expected troughs.
This additional resource – time- should be used judiciously. One is to realign our interests to what are the key priorities in one’s life – and hence, participation and commitment in jamaah should be reinforced, participation in educational improvements at pre-school, school levels towards policy governance and administration could be enhanced; or even formation of new commercial interests taking into consideration of previous interests – in short, pursuing the hedgehog.
Mak? Well, she seems to accept her destiny of not being able to draw upon her children’s devotion. I blame my sisters for not being able to get-together to do things for mak’s best interests. I’m not too sure how to go about doing this, but definitely this is far from ideal.
Again, I do need to relook at this particular area and find ways for betterment.

Tech, RE and investment work strategies
Not as appealing as the point before, but I owe it to myself to make sure this works given the strategy from above. To that end, initiating indispensability is a key strategy, and that requires both intellectual and attitudinal shifts. Intellectually, justification for every position that I take is a necessity, and attitudinally, a strong and firm disposition is required.
The former, insyaAllah, whilst hard is not as difficult as the latter proposition. Being firm is not something I’ve been used to in a work context, being dripfed on the neo-feudalistic TNB culture. Even LTK, who I should have vociferously engaged antagonistically on numerous occasions, is addressed deferentially and nodded with in agreement. Although, I should think in private conversations, he tends to steer towards my opinions more times than usual, and then uses that opinion to influence his bosses. The result? He gets promoted a few times in 2 years, and me? Well, I can’t complain cos I’ve made my bed outside.
So, I’m reminded of the story of Musa a.s, being given his stick by Allah, and his articulation of its uses as evidence of characteristics of a daie. Also, the voluminous writings of numerous muslim scholars who had created a gigantic knowledge repository covering all possible permutations of life as being a key reason for the spread of the beauty of Islam and knowledge illuminating the Dark Ages of Europe. Never mind that it was later, erroneously, proclaimed that ijtihad is closed, thereafter relegating Islam to a slow, glacial-like deterioration to the sad happenings to muslims today. Yoga-issue doesn’t help – but more than that demonstrates the deficiency of wisdom in addressing today’s issues.
Key issue to follow through at work in portfolio content in addressing technology risk – as well as other possibilities that needs further analysis and considerations.

CIRED, energy and TNB issues
CIRED, utility and energy are the unholy trinity in the country now. Of course, CIRED is just a small association, but I’m using it as a proxy for other disengaged organizations and agencies who should be doing something but probably is not able to do much now for whatever reason.
Something needs to be done, and pushing it forward requires more mental preparation to move it forward at pace.

Liverpool
playing OM tonight. I think Rafa should play Lucas and stick a finger to the dumb fans who booed him after the Fulham game.
Of course, I was disappointed with the game – the performance stank until Alonso’s introduction (see comment abt Sunderland’s game before), result was awful and other big 4 results were no consolation given we would have outright league leadership had we won. But to boo Lucas, and therefore betraying an ego as if as fans they knew better than Rafa, and as if that was the only reason for the poor performance, boy that pissed me off more than the performance and the result.
Primarily, because I face the same set of ego here at work, and elsewhere, (cue: “I’m doing research, I know everything comment” from this colleague), of people who just because they have access to wiki and google knows everything. What they have is just information and data. Without that being tried and tested in real-time, having the big-time experience of putting it into the pounding mill, where wisdom can be churned out, then these type of people needs to re-learn humility. It’s a disappearing commodity.

My last comment is – well, apart form waking up at night to watch Liverpool, I face a serious challenge of developing myself to meet numbers 1-3. It requires getting my head screwed on right, my motivations spot-on, an action-packed orientation, the courage to standup and suffer and not just to follow the easy path all the time, and to develop relationships and networks to help meet aspirations. These are all great deficiencies, arising from the vast gaps of iman and the postponement and procrastination of addressing and filling up this empty tanks so hungry for reinforcements. The longer the wait goes on, the worse it will become, and should death invite me under this condition, then I shall fear very much for my condition in the hereafter. In this condition, hyprocrisy and munafik reigns. I pray I shall find the light.

Making this world a better place is easier to say than to practice.

Updates

There needs to be an intensity in meeting this challenge. Discard malay mentality. Above all, discard laziness.



Additionally,

What are key qns in developing research?

In terms of products,

Relevance is key.

-for execution and implementation of biz model

- for return of investment

- for catalysing of industry and domain scope

- for creating sustainability of effort

- for developing, defending, and justifying area and getting buy-in of stakeholders

- for enabling consistency and clarity of policies, at govtal level and at GIH

- for having the right level of granularity to be approached at all the appropriate levels

- for ensuring maqasid al-syariah is met

- for meeting the needs of the affected populace and the public