Return to the origins

1. Bahasa has this nice proverb saying "kembali ke pangkal jalan" to signify life's typical journey of returning to fundamentals whenever we veer away from where we intend to go.
2. I've always had this feeling of chasing after money, no matter how interim, that objective becomes a domineering overwhelming instinct that eats up all our efforts, time and resources. No matter how noble the intent can be, ie looking after my family's interests and financial demands, it then becomes the mechanism where the original direction will be lost. There will be no balance, no proportion, and looking for proportion no matter how clearly it resides outside of the workplace now, it would be imbalanced when we lose the sense that Allah is the overriding, primary aim of life.
3. It has taken Sarah's leaving to ignite that need, now becoming a temporary single parent would naturally increase that reliance on Allah which I had quite conveniently left it by the wayside. It is time to return.
4. Just to add to the sense of unrealness, RTC has now initiated a video screening of proof that Anwar cannot control his Thamby. Talk of the inadequacy of someone raising libel on others. I cant visualise any other person with this kind of background displaying such a disregard of personal embarassment and shame, inability to find remorse and accountability, and no feeling of political responsibility to chase a personal vendetta. Society needs clean, clear-thinking, above this dirty politics that UMNO has become so synonymous with. I do feel a personal calling in this regard, and the call of money seems to be the only obstacle holding me back.
5. Elsewhere, Fukushima will result in a much increased cost of nuclear generation, and it remains to be seen if coupled with variability of oil price whether this could really push the envelope for RE generation, no matter how un prepared it is to become mainstream currently and the demands of subsidies to get it up. Certainly a business opportunity.
6. Wifey is overseas for the next 2 weeks - I'm bearing the brunt of the work at office and home in that period. I'll have to decide if this is worthwhile as a full-fledged career. Nevertheless, the demands of a PIBG Secretary, a business matching organiser, a scientific advisory technopreneur and a trainer could certainly be a productive alternative. 

Memories: Imperial Studies

Memories: Imperial Studies

1. It has been almost 15 years to the time I graduate and left my alma mater, but the true value of the education I received there seems to be amplified the longer time wears on.

2. I remembered the struggle and the suffering, contrasted with the gallivanting my brethren faced in LSE undergoing some artsy type education, pretending that they too were suffering. I remember the Eid where I spent the day at the lab, trying to make the circuit design work according to its cursed specs, and then still trying to squeeze the performance out of the stupid bugger. I remember almost failing in my 1st year after being unable to juggle my repsonsibilities and unable to discern between my capabilities and potential. I remember the passionate teachers, lecturers and professors, the Greek, Prof Spence, the Powerman - and the Brit colleagues who like me took a look at the Sings, and collectively decided, it aint worth it to be like them.

3. I wasnt happy with my results, I thot it wasnt commensurate with the effort that I put in. But I also realised that between effort and passion were two great gulfs. I studied in Imperial because I wanted the name, and I studied in E&E because it had practical relevance in what was to be my career in TNB then. I wasnt prepared for the slog though. Everything up to then had been a piece of cake, all I needed was a lot of last minute cramming, and things would turn out to be not so bad, or pretty great. I had no idea that there was a lot hinging on these little decisions, or that being good wasnt enough. Good is the enemy of great, is the champion of mediocrity. Until and unless you seek the frontiers of your chosen profession, your career, your choices, you'll languish.

4. That last statement could have been a little exaggerated, especially when I look around at this country and see the society that our mass production education system has produced. We can all live happily without straining ourselves to be the best that we can be. Ok, what. But wait, the undercurrents are very strong indeed, and it could just sweep us off our feet and drown us all.

5. Malaysia is now the 10th most competitive nation by one measure. Yet, that masks the fact whether our industrial policy has effectively cultivated manufacturing, industries and services around our resource advantages, or whether we have diversified away so that we are no longer masters of any. Socially, we are disintegrating except for the efforts by society to painfully gradually bring about change in spite of the leadership.. and that beings us to the issues that we face politically.

6. All these are manifestations of attitudes of individuals, where aggregated at society level, brings about the lethargy that we can obviously view without much effort now.

7. It all begins and ends with attitude. Be the best that we can be. Be disciplined enough to bring this change that we want to see. And change the system - we collaborate to bring about the change taht we want.. bit by bit, step-by-step, until we end up fulfilling our beliefs, either in life or in death.

Leading and managing people - starts with me

1.       Recent events have focused my mind towards stepping forward and taking the responsibility as a leader. Events which had happened, were among others,

-          Taking up a personal stand on the formation of IM to replace J.IM, as openly discussed in the discussion nets

-          My constant harping to Naeem to take the responsibility

-          Realisation that not standing up to my own thoughts and opinions will make me a perfect subordinate to a conniving, manipulating superior

-          Taking up a position on the present carping and conflict between spouse and her siblings, mirroring a previous experience between spouse and my siblings

-          Realising that I am taking a lead role in the group that will be travelling to Egypt and the Holy Land in less than 3 weeks

2.       The analysis / diagnosis is that I’ve been content to be play the observer role, when I should be playing the lead role all this while. Some events I could remember were:

-          Fear of conflict: in primary school, someone threw a used icecream stick and challenged me to fight. My response was to ignore, although I remembered that I wasn’t afraid. And then, there was the Concord guys vs gals conference, where I was the one trying to dangle an olive branch while Ramzi was displaying his full aggression.

-          Only when my self-interest was jeopardised, do I react: ie at the TNB interview, under duress from the interviewers, although I remember at Fitzwilliam’s interview how I just gave up.

-          Compromise and discussion seems to work well: I never had reasons to fight to the end. Whatever momentum I had from Penang, which allowed me to join the Reformasi movement, joined and spoke on a political stump, functioned as a Deputy YDP in an urban district, gradually disappeared when faced with family demands. First to go were the jamaah prayers, then the activities, then the jamaah, then everything else outside work. At no point in time did I stand my ground.

3.       The impact is that I remained patient and steadfast while the world continued to revolve at breakneck speed:

-          I took 5 years to leave TNB, and if MBA was the excuse, I only left 2 years after graduation

-          I took 16 months to move out from TTDI despite growing problems and certainty that it was causing more harm than good

-          I’m still here

-          I only managed to reconcile property investments after many many years – and even then I have my wife to thank for

4.       The things I need are:

-          Picture of what needs to happen on a *personal* basis, not on a family basis – in a leading role, I should determine what needs to happen, and not to abdicate my responsibility

-          Guts to stand my ground – no one is going to physically beat me up, the only bruises would be to the ego when I take the wrong position

-          Aggression to speak on behalf of the truth – the cause has charisma, not the person, and aggression can only be justified when the truth is being manhandled. In this case, data, information and knowledge are supreme.

-          Spiritual help – and to Allah return all things, and He alone determines what happens or not, and it is necessary to beseech Him for His supreme Power to bestow what His powerless makhluk wants. And the wants should be aligned with what He wants.

And all these reflections above should cause me many sleepless nights,

sombre mood - mid-life crisis

On some days, when the mood really gets you down, there isn’t much that we can do. Today is such a day.

I’ll need to clarify my thinking on a number of issues.

JDC and position

1. Increased responsibility with this position in JDC. The objective must be clear from the onset – what do I hope to achieve. One, of course, is mardhatillah through subscribing myself as a haraki worker. Secondly, this is also a position where my role is best identified through negotiating the best position to do it in, and how to bring out the better facets of what I can contribute towards. In that respect, assertiveness is a virtue. Thirdly, scrap this personal developmental agenda, cos at this stage the output required far outstrips the need for development, although I am at no point in tome demeaning its potential benefits. It’s just that, in this mindset of achieving the best, tarbiyyah is to be achieved through the means available, so hence, academically should be through university courses or such like, physical through setting up networks, mental and spiritual through personal struggle against my own vices. Although, be on the lookout for role modeling and social support systems.

Pathing away – time for pause and reflection

2. motivation to continue work in this swf environment is fading away. If I don’t obtain an offer from B or cant finalise my exit options soon, I’ll be found out, or worse, I’ll find myself unable to handle the stresses with the gaping conflicts I’ll need to resolve within myself. Partly, I’d also need to overcome risks – particularly relating to financial support should this fail to work itself out. DBA is a nice getout clause though, one in that it provides a nice excuse to be out of the system, but the issue remains – what do I intend to do later? First things first is to face the cold hard truth, the dirty, naked facts of what is required to find the bloody hedgehog. This is a time for wisdom, not some ill-judged rash decision I’vebeen guilty on a number of occasions already.

Raya prep

3. This and other stuff that I’d need to do. Get your butt of the bloody chair and start doing some real work!

Insights

4. And then there is this insight, that not only is this CV masking deficiencies, it is a puton with its fancy titles and awards - but what counts most is what you do with it, what impact do you have upon society, etc! personal motivation to succeed is paramount, regardless of which perspective you take - the difference being as a muslim, the personal motivation is framed upon our religious beliefs.

Delayed residuals

010609

A few thots which i need to lock-in. Firstly, being transparent and honest in relationships are fine, particularly when dealing with feelings of perceptive and sensitive people. Workplace, however, is different and entails getting a bit cleverer and manipulative in terms of getting to where we want to be.

Secondly, i need to carry myself better. Or risk others seeing me as LSS's assistant. I've probably subconsciously taken pride when being referred to as OTH's right hand hatchet man, but at a point in future, beginning now- I'm in charge of my destiny. What i do affects what i become, and hence every action should be done with vigour and commitment- and that includes everyday 'mundane' things that I've taken for granted like solat and do'a and interacting with the kids and wife.

280709

Quite heartwarming to find that my desire not to be underestimated (blogpost 010609) has not been plaguing me continually.

As things stand, i'm slowly developing this execution mindset- what do i do if i'm C-level? What do i do if i'm board-appointee? What are the trends that could affect us? How would this implicate us? What do we do now? Long may this continue.

It should also be noted that uncertainties abound looking into the future- hence, humility in this fact and in the face of greatness of Allah's Knowledge is all-important. Looking at trends and scenaric approach should be second nature by now.

Execution mindset also demands that i stick to a disciplined and regulated schedule daily, and deviations only as reward of completion. Otherwise, the nearly man tag, "potential", not up to mark will be labels that could be quite difficult to move away from. There is also a need to be a bit more "kiasu"- and wanting the best, and only the best, not settling for second, and good is the enemy of great mentality- as this is the differentiator with my competition, or even with Islam's competition. If i dont start talking in these terms, then whatever agenda i profess to pursue will always be overwhelmed.

Post-US trip trauma: Establishing structures for the future

1. I noticed that I havent posted for close to two months now. Just plain busy, cos then I was deep into execution of an acquisition (my first to boot), then with the PSDM training I conducted, and then the 2 week traveling and its after-effects, and only just trying to catch my thoughts now.

2. Part of the question I’ve been grappling with now is trying to identify what my interests are. I know I came into SWF with a determination to contribute towards RE. I retained my interests in energy through CIRED. I tried to kickstart things while obligingly trying to catch up with ls and biotech stuff. I guess my US jaunt rather jolted me into the reality of the world of innovations and how technology diffusion and commercialisation is created within the real-world now. No whimsical philosophising, just getting into the scheme of things and making sense of a commercial, material and capitalistic world to create something lasting and good.

3. I guess I cant run away from the philosophising if I want to contextualise the innovations and technology development within an Islamic perspective. But really, there’s no conflict or disconcordance. There’s merely standing for what is right and finding ways to allow Islamic thought to reign and float above the chaos.

4. Before I get into greater details there, perhaps, there’s also the need to ensure before I lose myself, and primarily before fz gets back that I structure my thoughts and ideas for the future. Envisioning can create the generative force and motivation I hope to live off for the next few years. It’d also hopefully create a firmness of thought and principled stance that could stand me on good stead when I try to unleash my assertiveness onto the positions I intend to develop and hold.

5. The grounding that I have in systems thinking and scenario planning should assist me to project and understand trends and relevant consequences into the future. It’s that future which should hold some form of relevance onto where we intend to develop and strategise and where we intend to form our path.

6. That path should include how technology is created, commercialised and utilised for the benefit of the ummah. I should define ummah here more generally to be that of mankind rather than that with artificial state borders as we have now, yet cognisant that primarily, the intended recipient of the benefits should be national interest first and foremost.

7. Projection and predicting the future is never easy because of the variability of the multiple factors. The endeavour, which should be a good and noble intent, must be taken with a commitment and seriousness never before matched in my previous projects, indeed calling for a basic retooling and realigning of my life and personality to suit this calling – this epiphany. I should make this my pursuit, with the final destination accruing to the benefit of the muslim ummah in particular.

8. To do this, I should think of structures and ways to peg the various imperceptible changes, and allow further analysis to be conducted. And that, in a nutshell, is what I have concluded after my US trip.

self-reflection

There are occasions, like now, where I feel like I’m drifting, unsure of life’s priorities, unsure of where I’m heading. It includes a sense of guilt at expectations unmet, aspirations unachieved and hopes dashed. It includes the feeling of unresolved personal relationships, including of those close to me within my own family, of my mum, my wife and childred, my sisters, and my late father, those then closer, my in-laws, those through my own marriage or through my siblings, and others related to me. Those among my friends who I fail to endear myself to, whether they be in good health, or not as in Aman Firdaus’ case, and whether I have responded justly to those that I know, or those I have yet to know.

 

All this seems to point to me leaving behind an agenda, frequently dubbed in sort of secret code, “Sebuah Agenda Perjuangan”. It’s a simple concept, and it consists of several life creed that we live with and die for. Not having this means a life tortured by meaningless meanderings, of uncertainties. For a while, early in my twenties, I grasped the concept. Then I let it go when I could not find the balance between what is right and what is necessarily pragmatic. And thence starts the cycle that I need to break free from.

 

Living for something means I am able to overcome hardship in the form of mental fortitude when people start throwing dirt and shit at you for what you hold dear. It comes in the shape of rising above the stupid and the crass, the bitchy and the intolerant, and preaching the language of peace while maintaining the direction of truth and good. It is easy to speak in these terms, but without a built-in intrinsic moral compass to dissect what is right or wrong, we may forever end up going in cycles.

 

Interpersonal skills are indispensable. Being respectful, maintaining good relations, being courteous, curious and without a trace of an arrogant air, while being assertive should be an everyday habitual occurrence. Being respectful of others should not mean replacing respect for my own self. Stand my ground on things which I feel is right, stop asking for directions at every intersection, but start pointing out directions.

 

Observations, too...

Over the last three decades, we can observe that the engineering profession is quickly losing, or has lost, its lustre. When I was in my primaryschool days, I could feel the respect when my mother speaks about our backdoor neighbour who was an engineer with UDA, never mind the fact my schoolteacher parents could afford to have the exact same house as he did. (of which, I am proud of, Mak..;-) ) It was probably imprinted in my subconscious, that about 7 years after, subsequent to getting my SPM results, at our family meeting discussing my study and career options, despite my sense that my parents were hoping for the “doctor” answer, I suggested engineering with the excuse I am not much good at cutting up cadavers. If they were disappointed, they didn’t show it, and even went out of their way helping me get my TNB scholarship by meeting with Dr Salim Sairan (arwah now), Dato’ Rashid (unknowingly the father of my colleague here in SWF), En. Karim(!?) (curse on my memory lapses) and many others. Thanks again, Mak. (and abah, too, sorry I probably did not voice it out when you were around)

Since then, I have evolved into this super-rational human being, heard that people have said that I seem emotionally void at times, dungu at others, and being in the investment realm doesn’t help remedy that, instead it has probably accelerated the process further. But engineers have other redeeming features. We say it as it is. Although moving up the organizational pyramid and moving to the financial industries have seriously removed that from me. Okay, we are logical, able to spot gaps and issues and arrive to a conclusion quickly. Hmmm.. let’s not go there, as I certainly can not claim that as a personal virtue. Right, we inquire about the truth, and defend it to the hilt. Perhaps, moreso a long, long time ago, but especially not now in this industry where I’m still trying to find my footing.

But, back to my main point, why and where did engineers lose their attraction? The advent of IT was certainly a major factor. IT graduates commanded more pay, had better job offers and the industry shone brightly. In Malaysia, finance and banking industry boomed and grew by leaps and bounds in the last two decades aided by GOM’s drive to accelerate Malaysia’s economic growth. I know plenty of engineers in finance, and elsewhere, financial engineering has even been blamed for the unfolding economic crisis. It also became fashionable to import expertise from outside in developing Malaysia’s iconic buildings, Hijjaz Kasturi was probably the exception of a local who managed to swell his reputation despite the unfair global competition. FTAs and the WTOs will further liberalise these services sector, and the remaining engineering services providers will either become small-scale organizations living on scraps, or partners and sub-contractors of Aussie and New Zealand (!) engineering companies trying to enter our markets. (I mean, British, American, Japanese, Dutch – OK I can understand, but New Zealand? Come on.., Aussie – well OK they are probably good, but I don’t like them to a fault, so there u go)

So, engineers end up not having much in terms of pay. They don’t have that many places to practice their trade, and if they did it will be doing mundane, routine, mind-numbing stuff in GLCs, and hence, they also find their route to the top of the pile jealously guarded by people who are more innovative and has more game-changing arsenal compared to the average Mat Engineer. It is a systemic problem, and the brutal truth is that who ever is left in the profession will bear the brunt of the blame, or the shit-cleaning job, of the landslides, cracks in flyover pillars, foundations, buildings and such like. Others who have the capacity to change lanes should leave their tracks, and seek the arsenal required to change this fate.

As a nation, can we live on being a nation of economists, financiers and Islamic bankers? Sure we can. But at the end of the day, wouldn’t a diversified skill set working within the framework of nation-building, be better for Malaysia?

The human development policy in Malaysia is in such shambles that any demand for salary increase is a political issue, and none is more adept at playing this game than CUEPACS. Schoolteachers have had their increase, private sector can job-hop and get their increase, fishermen, taxi-drivers etc will get what they want as soon as the guy in charge sees a perceived erosion in political support. The ad-hoc, elastoplast, cant see beyond tomorrow approach has been the bane of Malaysia in the last 4 years. A mitigating factor for Pak Lah is that the last 5 years of Mahathir was also not great as he sought to exit with his political reputation intact.

Economically, the low-wage structure has got to be gradually unraveled. We cannot sustain this as the costs are too high. The “brain drain” to moneybags Middle East and ravenous China is turning into a tidal flow- where it was once only geologists, it now includes engineers, accountants, nurses, doctors and anyone who is able to pad up his CV with important sought-after recruitment keywords and has friends already working over there. The leftovers are unable to make up for it, and already sectors such as manufacturing are crying over firstly, the lack of quantity and then the quality of the local graduates, either struggling to speak coherent English or ability to grasp mundane work instructions. It is a sad indictment of an education policy which encourages, subsidises and allows our people to pursue expensive, overseas education, (the Malays who get their overseas education paid for by government agencies are proportionately most at fault here, and those whose parents, including the non-Malays- can most afford it are the ones which we need to train our guns on the most) could not provide the employment opportunities upon their return, their individual attitude’s towards depending upon government handouts notwithstanding.

Obviously, meritocracy would be the solution. But we have lost the last generation of our people being molly-coddled and pampered to the extent that any drastic removal of privileges and opportunities would create sustained political fractures as racial jealousy and demand for personal, class and racial rights overtake common sense.

It would seem the first step is always to create the right environment and context to move forward, prioritizing firstly, judging equally between man (populace, if you happen to be one of those gender-sensitive people who bite at such trivialities), removal of suspicions of underhanded motives emanating from other countries, respect for the legacy that we have and our 51 year history which has allowed us to move this far, that only then can we begin to take the first tentative steps towards removal of these forces which hold us back.

Assortments - reinforcement and tank filling greatly required

Wednesday, November 26, 2008; 16:19:27

Another assortments piece here – namely for key action steps:
personal and family strategies – for here and hereafter
tech and RE work strategies – developing institutional capacity
CIRED, energy and TNB – sustainable progress
Liverpool – keeping the momentum
making sure I am sustainable

First salvo, personal and family strategies.
the kids take precedence – and by that I mean their development as muslims & mu’min, their education, their akhlak and their disposition should be a primary concern.
Hence, selection of school is crucial. Ensuring the right school meets these objectives must be done right, and also the practical aspects, including finances and potential risks assessed in making this decision. Once, decision made, however, there should be no stones unturned to make sure the objective is achieved.
Central to this is also the issue of wifey getting the time, a critical resource to carry out this role effectively. If that means compromising on financials in the short-term, then adequate contingencies have to be thought through, as well as bracing ourselves mentally and physically to meet the expected troughs.
This additional resource – time- should be used judiciously. One is to realign our interests to what are the key priorities in one’s life – and hence, participation and commitment in jamaah should be reinforced, participation in educational improvements at pre-school, school levels towards policy governance and administration could be enhanced; or even formation of new commercial interests taking into consideration of previous interests – in short, pursuing the hedgehog.
Mak? Well, she seems to accept her destiny of not being able to draw upon her children’s devotion. I blame my sisters for not being able to get-together to do things for mak’s best interests. I’m not too sure how to go about doing this, but definitely this is far from ideal.
Again, I do need to relook at this particular area and find ways for betterment.

Tech, RE and investment work strategies
Not as appealing as the point before, but I owe it to myself to make sure this works given the strategy from above. To that end, initiating indispensability is a key strategy, and that requires both intellectual and attitudinal shifts. Intellectually, justification for every position that I take is a necessity, and attitudinally, a strong and firm disposition is required.
The former, insyaAllah, whilst hard is not as difficult as the latter proposition. Being firm is not something I’ve been used to in a work context, being dripfed on the neo-feudalistic TNB culture. Even LTK, who I should have vociferously engaged antagonistically on numerous occasions, is addressed deferentially and nodded with in agreement. Although, I should think in private conversations, he tends to steer towards my opinions more times than usual, and then uses that opinion to influence his bosses. The result? He gets promoted a few times in 2 years, and me? Well, I can’t complain cos I’ve made my bed outside.
So, I’m reminded of the story of Musa a.s, being given his stick by Allah, and his articulation of its uses as evidence of characteristics of a daie. Also, the voluminous writings of numerous muslim scholars who had created a gigantic knowledge repository covering all possible permutations of life as being a key reason for the spread of the beauty of Islam and knowledge illuminating the Dark Ages of Europe. Never mind that it was later, erroneously, proclaimed that ijtihad is closed, thereafter relegating Islam to a slow, glacial-like deterioration to the sad happenings to muslims today. Yoga-issue doesn’t help – but more than that demonstrates the deficiency of wisdom in addressing today’s issues.
Key issue to follow through at work in portfolio content in addressing technology risk – as well as other possibilities that needs further analysis and considerations.

CIRED, energy and TNB issues
CIRED, utility and energy are the unholy trinity in the country now. Of course, CIRED is just a small association, but I’m using it as a proxy for other disengaged organizations and agencies who should be doing something but probably is not able to do much now for whatever reason.
Something needs to be done, and pushing it forward requires more mental preparation to move it forward at pace.

Liverpool
playing OM tonight. I think Rafa should play Lucas and stick a finger to the dumb fans who booed him after the Fulham game.
Of course, I was disappointed with the game – the performance stank until Alonso’s introduction (see comment abt Sunderland’s game before), result was awful and other big 4 results were no consolation given we would have outright league leadership had we won. But to boo Lucas, and therefore betraying an ego as if as fans they knew better than Rafa, and as if that was the only reason for the poor performance, boy that pissed me off more than the performance and the result.
Primarily, because I face the same set of ego here at work, and elsewhere, (cue: “I’m doing research, I know everything comment” from this colleague), of people who just because they have access to wiki and google knows everything. What they have is just information and data. Without that being tried and tested in real-time, having the big-time experience of putting it into the pounding mill, where wisdom can be churned out, then these type of people needs to re-learn humility. It’s a disappearing commodity.

My last comment is – well, apart form waking up at night to watch Liverpool, I face a serious challenge of developing myself to meet numbers 1-3. It requires getting my head screwed on right, my motivations spot-on, an action-packed orientation, the courage to standup and suffer and not just to follow the easy path all the time, and to develop relationships and networks to help meet aspirations. These are all great deficiencies, arising from the vast gaps of iman and the postponement and procrastination of addressing and filling up this empty tanks so hungry for reinforcements. The longer the wait goes on, the worse it will become, and should death invite me under this condition, then I shall fear very much for my condition in the hereafter. In this condition, hyprocrisy and munafik reigns. I pray I shall find the light.

Making this world a better place is easier to say than to practice.

The Malay Warrior

I remember back in early 1990s when I was in a seminar discussing the fate of the nation, organized by MISG-UK (ABIM branch) if I’m not mistaken. The issue was on Malay leadership – and I had boldly asserted then that Dr M was the best option we had, although I had couched it under the assertion of the one with the lesser evil as compared to then DSAI (I remember the subtle preparation of DSAI’s ground support even then), Ghafar Baba and the alternatives in PAS etc, even then at the height of the hudud issue. I remember my opposition to him on the Anwar sacking – even taking to Masjid Negara and demonstrations in anger, the abuse of instruments of government and judiciary to fabricate and uphold injustices etc. Now that he’s no longer in power, I read his thoughts on his blogs and this one highlighted by a blogger got my fullest attention.

Here is a thinker, diagnosing, formulating solutions for the betterment of his people – a leader of his people. For all his faults, his leadership was excellent and more often than not his decisions are more right than wrong. (although the few ones he got wrong usually had the severest repercussion for all). His frank and forthright thoughts are a pleasure to read as it brings forth relevant issues for debate and discussions. (again, I’m hedging here – an admirer of his thoughts and convincing arguments, though I may disagree). There is no debate with TDM on the need to remove the ‘tongkat’ though. It’s either we kick it away one fine day, or we gradually build up the standing strength to walk upright soon.

Source: http://jebatmustdie.wordpress.com/

MINGGUAN: Datuk Seri telah menjadi Presiden UMNO selama 21 tahun, satu tempoh paling lama dibandingkan dengan presiden-presiden UMNO yang lain. Bagaimana Datuk Seri melihat orang Melayu selama 21 tahun Datuk Seri menjadi Presiden, dari mula-mula hingga sekarang.

DR. MAHATHIR: Ada juga kemajuan di kalangan orang Melayu. Tapi ada juga unsur-unsur negatif yang telah muncul dalam UMNO sendiri dan dalam masyarakat Melayu. Hakikatnya ialah kita tidak dapat mencapai matlamat kita iaitu Dasar Ekonomi Baru (DEB). Walaupun ada beberapa orang Melayu yang nampak berjaya baik dalam bidang perniagaan atau profesional, tetapi umumnya tidak ada banyak perubahan - baik dari segi sikap dan nilai-nilai yang dipegang oleh orang Melayu.

Apakah sikap dan unsur-unsur negatif di kalangan orang Melayu?

DR. MAHATHIR: Umpamanya, ramai yang suka mencari jalan mudah untuk menjayakan sesuatu, walaupun jalan yang mudah itu akan membawa akibat buruk dalam jangka panjang. Tidak ada yang serius untuk berusaha. Kita dapati di kalangan penuntut Melayu, walaupun jumlahnya ramai kerana jumlah orang Melayu juga telah meningkat, tetapi keinginan untuk mengejar ilmu agak berkurangan, terutama di kalangan penuntut lelaki.

Dalam bidang perniagaan ada yang betul-betul berusaha dan mencapai kejayaan tetapi lebih ramai yang hanya nampak peluang daripada lesen ataupun kontrak yang diberi oleh kerajaan untuk dijual kepada orang lain.

Datuk Seri menyebut tentang kegagalan mencapai matlamat DEB. Banyak mana yang dapat dicapai?

DR. MAHATHIR: Dulu kita capai sampai 20 peratus tetapi sekarang berkurangan hingga kepada 19 peratus. Daripada 19 peratus itu, 17 peratus adalah yang dimiliki oleh institusi-institusi bumiputera yang diurus oleh kerajaan, bumiputera sendiri cuma memiliki dua peratus. Bukan kerana kita tidak beri, kalau hendak dikira jumlah yang kita beri kepada bumiputera lebih daripada 30 peratus. Tetapi hampir semuanya dijual. Sebab itu kita tidak dapat mencapai matlamat. Sebab orang kita hendak cepat dapat duit. Kalau jual boleh dapat duit cepat. Kalau simpan, tidak merasa.

Apa yang tidak kena dengan orang Melayu? Kenapa mereka jadi begitu?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya tidak tahu apa nak kata. Kita sudah kata berkali-kali, jangan buat perkara semacam itu, tetapi ada yang datang jumpa saya, minta lesen dan kontrak. Mereka kata, “Saya susah, bagilah pada saya peluang.” Tapi dia beri juga kepada orang lain.

Matlamat DEB gagal dicapai walaupun sesudah 30 tahun. Ertinya, dasar diskriminasi positif pun gagal mengubah orang Melayu. Jadi, apa yang perlu dibuat?

DR. MAHATHIR: Itu orang Melayu patut tanya pada diri mereka sendiri, apa yang patut mereka buat. Saya sudah tunjuk apa yang patut mereka buat, tapi mereka masih juga hendakkan tongkat, hendak subsidi, hendak diberi keistimewaan.

Datuk Seri, kalau kita tarik balik subsidi dan hak istimewa itu, apakah orang Melayu akan mengubah sikap mereka?

DR. MAHATHIR: Itu kita sudah kata, umpamanya kita hendak benarkan 10 peratus bukan Melayu ke dalam Maktab Rendah Sains Mara (MRSM) dan program matrikulasi, itu pun orang kita tak sanggup. Kita hendak dikelilingi dengan satu kubu supaya orang lain tidak boleh masuk. Esok, kalau kita kena keluar dari kubu kita, kita tak boleh berperang dengan orang.

Apakah Datuk Seri rasa orang Melayu sudah bersedia untuk menghadapi persaingan tanpa perlindungan kerajaan?

DR. MAHATHIR: Belum bersedia. Sebab itu kalau kita masukkan 10 peratus pun mereka bersungut. Kita hendak kuota sana, kuota sini, kita juga hendak subsidi itu, subsidi ini.

Kita anggap, diberi layanan istimewa oleh kerajaan sebagai satu perkara yang mulia. Sebenarnya tidak mulia. Umpamanya, kalau di dalam negara, kita perlu diberi perlindungan sepanjang masa, keadaan kita samalah seperti orang Red Indian yang terpaksa dilindungi kerana begitu lemah dan ini akan menjadikan kita bertambah lemah.

Mengapa orang Melayu masih belum bersedia menghadapi perubahan?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya nampak satu daripada masalahnya ialah politik. Ada orang apabila kita hendak buat perkara yang betul, maka mereka akan ancam melalui politik supaya jangan menyokong kerajaan.

Dalam politik demokrasi ini, begitulah. Bila kita hendak buat perkara yang betul, yang baik dan yang sakit sikit, ada orang berkata, ini sebahagian daripada isu politik.

Umpamanya sudah lama saya suruh orang kita belajar bahasa Inggeris, bukan (tujuan) hendak ganti bahasa Melayu, cuma hendak belajar bahasa Inggeris. Tetapi hal ini dijadikan isu yang cukup besar hingga kita tidak dapat laksanakan.

Hari ini, kita baru sedar bahawa bahasa Inggeris itu penting. Demikian juga dengan ilmu-ilmu lain yang saya sudah desak lama, lebih kurang 30 tahun dulu supaya belajar ilmu-ilmu lain itu, tetapi ada yang kata itu sekular, politik. Yang dahsyat sekali Pas. Pas tunggu saja bila kita buat sesuatu, ia jadikan isu supaya perkara yang baik ini tidak tercapai.

Siapa yang menentangnya?

DR. MAHATHIR: Sesetengah nasionalis bahasa Melayu. Orang ini ingat kalau kamu boleh bercakap Melayu dengan baik, sudah cukup, tidak tahu bahasa lain tidak mengapa. Ada juga segelintir dalam UMNO begitu. Jadi dia cari jalan mudah, maka tak perlulah dia belajar lebih.

Kena belajar Inggeris susah, lebih senang belajar dalam bahasa Melayu. Tapi, belajar dalam bahasa Melayu pun kita lihat budak-budak Cina boleh dapat kelulusan yang lebih baik. Dia berpidato dalam bahasa Melayu lebih baik daripada budak Melayu.

Tapi dalam hal ini Datuk Seri, bantahan dan rasa tidak senang nampaknya juga datang daripada kalangan UMNO sendiri.

DR. MAHATHIR: Yalah, dalam UMNO juga ada yang semacam itu, tapi mereka tidak jadikan itu sebagai isu untuk menghentam kerajaan, ataupun cuba menghakiskan sokongan kepada kerajaan. Mereka ini kritik kerana tidak faham tujuan sebenar kita membuat sesuatu.

Tentang mentaliti subsidi dan tongkat. Terdapat dua pandangan, satu pandangan mengatakan orang Melayu tidak berubah, tidak mahu kerja kuat kerana adanya tongkat itu. Jadi kalau kita hendak ubah orang Melayu, kita kena buang tongkat itu. Tetapi bila kita hendak membuangnya, mereka kata mereka tidak boleh bersaing tanpa tongkat. Bagaimana kita hendak pecahkan mentaliti ini?

DR. MAHATHIR: Sebenarnya orang Melayu mampu buat. Kita telah buktikan apabila orang Melayu sanggup buat sesuatu, dia dapat menguasai perkara itu sama ada dari segi menuntut ilmu atau membuat kerja dengan cekap dan sebagainya. Semuanya boleh, tetapi keinginan untuk berusaha bersungguh-sungguh amat kurang sekali.

Kenapa?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya tak tahu. Kita cuba tunjuk secara teladan. Kadang-kadang saya sudah tunjuk kita kerja kuat, bila balik dari luar negara, saya terus pergi pejabat - hendak tunjuk kerja kuat. Tetapi ada orang kata, Doktor bolehlah… itulah jawabnya.

Semua orang kagum melihat Datuk Seri bila balik pagi ini (Jumaat) boleh terus pergi kerja, tetapi mereka tidak ikut juga.

DR. MAHATHIR: Apa lagi… hendak tunjuk teladan sudah tunjuk, nak tunjuk ajar sudah ajar, marah sudah, menangis sudah, baca doa pun sudah. Semua saya dah buat.

Jadi apa yang silap dengan orang kita, Datuk Seri?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya anggap itu sudah menjadi satu budaya bagi kita. Kalau kita lihat ke tapak projek, kita harus tanya pada diri kita, kenapa tidak ada seorang pun Melayu yang bekerja dalam projek pembinaan. Apakah orang Melayu berbeza dengan orang Jawa, orang Sumatera yang bekerja kuat di situ. Mereka kerja sampai malam. Takkan kerana kulit kita coklat seperti ini, maka kita tak boleh buat kerja.

Itu budaya kita. Kita tak tahu susah, hendak senang selalu. Kalau naik tinggi sedikit, sudah gayat. Kerja lama sikit - letih, lenguh sampai tak boleh tidur. Saya selalu pergi melawat ke tempat tapak projek, saya lihat ada orang Indonesia, orang Cina, orang India, tapi orang Melayu tidak ada. Kalau kita lihat di situ kita tidak tahu ini Malaysia, negara orang Melayu. Kita ingat ini negara asing.

Datuk Seri, adakah ini kerana orang Melayu masih dengan mentaliti lama, di mana cukup makan dan cukup pakai sudah memadai?

DR. MAHATHIR: Baiklah… kalau cukup makan, cukup pakai, jadi tak payahlah bising-bising lagi. Apa nak politik lagi. Tapi kita bising. Kita hendak itu dan ini.

Apakah Datuk Seri berpuas hati dengan kedudukan orang Melayu setakat ini?

DR. MAHATHIR: Tidak. Cuba kita `cabut’ orang Cina, apa akan jadi. Katalah kita ambil Kuala lumpur, semua yang milik Cina kita keluarkan termasuk rumah dan bangunan mereka, apa yang tinggal… Kampung Baru… itu saja.

Selepas 44 tahun kita merdeka kita cuma ada tempat di Kampung Baru saja. Yang ada bangunan tinggi-tinggi pun milik agensi kerajaan. Cuba fikirkan tentang itu.

Datuk Seri, cubalah kita buat perubahan drastik, kita cabut hak istimewa Melayu.

DR. MAHATHIR: Mereka akan menjerit. Mereka tidak dapat hak istimewa. Mereka anggap hak istimewa ini satu kemuliaan. Sebenarnya hak istimewa bukan sesuatu yang mulia. Kalau kita kena selalu pakai tongkat, bermakna kita daif. Antara orang yang kena pakai tongkat dengan orang berjalan tegak, yang mana kamu pandang tinggi? Orang yang pakai tongkat atau orang jalan tegak?

Tapi itu akan memerlukan satu pembaharuan minda.

DR. MAHATHIR: Itulah yang akan terjadi, kita akan adakan seminar, bengkel dan macam-macam. Semua bercakap, para intelek akan bercakap sepanjang masa. Mereka berdebat dan mengeluarkan idea yang menakjubkan, tetapi di bawah ia tidak ada apa-apa makna.

Bukan susah hendak kerja. Hendak kerja ada dan kita boleh beri, tetapi kita rela biar orang lain buat kerja kita.

Kita hendak dapat duit subsidi. Duit subsidi hasil daripada kerja orang lain. Duit itu bukan datang daripada kita. Kalau hendak tahu, lihat cukai pendapatan, banyak mana orang Melayu bayar, banyak mana orang lain bayar. Bermakna duit yang dapat kepada kerajaan yang kita keluarkan sebagai subsidi itu datang daripada orang lain. Sampai bila kita hendak bergantung kepada orang lain?

Hanya Datuk Seri yang boleh bercakap kepada orang Melayu secara berterus terang dalam soal ini. Tidakkah Datuk Seri mahu mengejutkan mereka sekali lagi untuk menyedarkan mereka?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya sudah buat macam-macam, saya sudah pujuk, merayu, berdoa. Macam-macam saya sudah buat.

Ternyata orang Melayu masih menghadapi masalah besar. Boleh Datuk Seri sebutkan tiga saja masalah orang Melayu yang Datuk Seri anggap paling besar?

DR. MAHATHIR: Yang pertama, tidak sanggup untuk bekerja keras, tidak sanggup belajar bersungguh-sungguh. Tidak sanggup membuat sesuatu dengan bersungguh-sungguh.

Yang kedua, bila ada saja sesuatu perkara atau isu berlaku, kita sudah lupa tentang isu sebelum itu. Bila kita asyik tumpu pada isu itu maka kita berkelahi sesama sendiri. Ini balik kepada Melayu mudah lupa.

Yang ketiganya, apabila kita dapat sesuatu, kita tidak begitu menghargainya. Umpamanya kita dapat banyak bantuan subsidi, kalau diguna dengan baik kita akan dapat banyak untung, tetapi kita tidak gunakannya dengan baik.

Menjelang perhimpunan UMNO, orang Melayu sedang berdebat tentang soal penghapusan kuota universiti serta program matrikulasi dan MRSM dibuka kepada bukan Melayu. Ini satu isu yang betul-betul menyentuh hak istimewa Melayu. Kenapa Datuk Seri memilih waktu ini untuk melakukan perubahan ini?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya tidak memilih masa. Saya lihat keadaan. Kalau keadaan memerlukan kita membuat tindakan, kita bertindak. Kita kata, kita perlu melakukan strategi, kalau kita buat begini, maka politik akan jadi begini. Kalau kita asyik fikir itu saja, bermakna kita tidak buat apa-apalah.

Perkara yang baik yang hendak kita buat, tidak ada yang popular. Kalau hendak jadi popular, apa saja orang minta, kita berilah. Kalau dia kata beri kuota 100 peratus kepadanya, kita beri. Kita boleh popular. Tetapi soalnya, baik atau tidak?

Perubahan ini (pembukaan MRSM dan Program Matrikulasi kepada bukan Melayu) adalah satu perubahan yang cukup besar, sebenarnya.

DR. MAHATHIR: Ini tidak besar, sedikit sangat.

Setidak-tidaknya itulah tanggapan di bawah sekarang. Sehingga bila keluar berita tentang perkara ini, pemimpin UMNO sendiri tidak dapat memberi jawapan.

DR. MAHATHIR: Kita sudah beri jawapan. Kita sudah terangkan kenapa kita buat. Di Malaysia terdapat 54 peratus Melayu, 26 peratus Cina, 10 peratus India, enam peratus bumiputera Sabah dan Sarawak (empat peratus lain-lain), itu pecahan masyarakat kita. Tetapi kita hendak latih orang Melayu dalam keadaan terasing daripada semua ini.

Esok bila kita keluar, kita hendak masuk masyarakat itu kita tidak tahu dan tidak mampu. Kerana kita tak pernah lihat orang. Jadi kalau kita sukar hendak buat demikian - orang Melayu bila keluar dari institusi pelajaran maka dia akan terkapar-kapar, hendak cakap dengan orang pun tidak tahu. Kadang-kadang bila bercakap dengan orang lain tidak tahu bahasa pun, jadi akhirnya kita dapati penuntut yang lulus dari universiti - dapat ijazah tapi tidak dapat kerja.

Sekarang orang bertanya tentang mohon kerja, ditanya lulus dari mana. Mereka jawab lulus universiti di Malaysia. Ada yang kata, Melayu yang lulus di luar negara mungkin mendapat lebih peluang kerja daripada Melayu yang lulus dari universiti dalam negara. Kenapa? Kerana universiti dalam Malaysia ini, kaum-kaum sudah tidak bercampur gaul lagi.

Dalam universiti mereka tidak campur sama sekali, hendak bagi senang tidak bercampur ialah kita masukkan sikit soal agama. Kita hendak tidur dalam satu bilik asrama, tak boleh (campur kaum lain) sebab kita nak sembahyang, kita takut kotor. Kita cari jalan supaya kita diasingkan.

Semasa saya belajar di universiti, saya bercampur dengan Cina dan India. Saya masih Melayu dan pegangan Islam saya masih kuat.

Datuk Seri menggambarkan ini penyakit orang Melayu sekarang. Apakah dengan langkah drastik yang dibuat oleh kerajaan sekarang kita akan mengubah sikap orang Melayu?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya tidak buat benda yang drastik, baru 10 peratus. Sedangkan dalam masyarakat kita 45 peratus terdiri daripada orang bukan Melayu. Kalau hendak ikut peratusan sepatutnya 45 peratus. Tapi kita cuma masukkan 10 peratus dan kita sudah berasa takut. (JMD : TDM was testing the waters so to speak, to gauge the readiness of Malays’ mentality in the face of real competition in the future)

Sekarang timbul kebimbangan orang Melayu. Permulaannya 10 peratus Datuk Seri, tapi apa akan berlaku selepas ini? Keretakan sudah berlaku dan itu yang membimbangkan Melayu. Apa jawapan Datuk Seri kepada kebimbangan ini?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya tak ada jawapan. Pada pendapat saya, kalau kita mampu bersaing dengan 10 peratus, kita akan mampu bersaing dengan 20 peratus dan 30 peratus. Tapi kalau kita kata dengan 10 peratus pun kita tidak berani, maka kita tak boleh bersaing sampai bila-bila.

Datuk Seri percaya orang Melayu sudah bersedia untuk bersaing tanpa perlindungan kerajaan?

DR. MAHATHIR: Kalau mereka tidak dicuba, sampai bila-bila pun kita tidak akan tahu.

Datuk Seri, apa akan jadi jika perubahan ini tidak berjalan dengan baik? Pada tahun ini semuanya nampak baik. Tetapi dalam pengajian-pengajian kritikal seperti perubatan, pelajar bumiputera masih tidak dapat memenuhi kuota. Bagaimana hendak tangani hal ini?

DR. MAHATHIR: Kalau kita tidak biasa susah, kita tidak kuat kerja. Kita senang, hendak masuk universiti ada tempat, semua kita ada. Yang hak orang lain pun kita hendak lagi, tapi dia tidak boleh masuk, bukan sebab sudah penuh.

Inilah masalah orang Melayu - tidak pernah susah, dapat dengan senang. Kalau susah sikit, dia menjerit. Bukan susah banyak, susah sikit saja. Tidak ada yang radikal, hanya 10 peratus.

Pada fikiran Datuk Seri, dengan perubahan ini sikap Melayu boleh diubah?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya harap begitulah, saya tidak tahu macam mana lagi. Saya mungkin salah. (JMD : In that situation, was he right?)

Tentang pengajaran mata pelajaran Sains dan Matematik dalam bahasa Inggeris. Apakah ia akan diteruskan dan tidak mungkin berpatah ke belakang semula?

DR. MAHATHIR: Sudah tentu, kalau kita semua tidak mahu, apa saya nak buat. Saya tak ada kuasa.

Tentu Datuk Seri sedar bahawa orang Melayu perlu dibuat keputusan untuk mereka dan dipimpin mereka.

DR. MAHATHIR: Jika saya buat keputusan untuk mereka dan memimpin mereka, sepatutnya sekarang saya sudah berjaya. Saya sudah buat keputusan, tetapi tidak jadi juga. Kita kata orang Melayu tidak ada peluang hendak berniaga, saya putuskan kita beri peluang kepada mereka. Kita ada lebih 30 dana untuk tolong orang Melayu. Tapi kalau dapat duit pun, dia tidak berniaga betul-betul.

Datuk Seri, kalau pengajaran bahasa Inggeris dalam dua subjek itu untuk Tahun Satu dimulakan tahun depan, ia akan mengambil 11 tahun untuk melihat hasilnya. Apakah kita ada masa 11 tahun?

DR. MAHATHIR: Tidak, kita mahu mulakan semua sekali secara serentak. Itu kalau saya. Saya ada cara saya. Kita akan adakan kursus seperti dua tiga mata pelajaran digabungkan untuk diajar secara serentak di Tahun Lima atau apa saja cara dia belajar untuk Tahun Lima dengan mencantumkan pelajaran (dua subjek itu) dari Tahun Satu, Dua, Tiga dan Empat secara serentak. Kita boleh buat, bukan mustahil sangat tetapi kita perlu kerja kuat, kita kena belajar.

Jadi semua pengajaran Sains dan Matematik dalam bahasa Inggeris akan dilakukan secara serentak mulai tahun depan?

DR. MAHATHIR: Semua sekali. Saya boleh. Saya tahu bagaimana hendak melaksanakannya.

Tetapi Datuk Seri, ini suatu tindakan untuk kembali kepada aliran Inggeris sebenarnya.

DR. MAHATHIR: Tidak, tidak perlu sama sekali.

Apakah salah kalau kita wujudkan semula aliran Inggeris?

DR. MAHATHIR: Kalau begitu, mati langsung bahasa Melayu. Bahasa Melayu kita guna. Kita kena hidupkan bahasa Melayu. Identiti kita terikat kepada bahasa kita.

Selain mengajar Sains dan Matematik dalam bahasa Inggeris, kenapa tidak perkenalkan semula aliran Inggeris sebagai satu pilihan?

DR. MAHATHIR: Tak boleh. Kalau kita beri Inggeris sebagai satu pilihan bermakna orang Melayu tidak belajar bahasa Melayu. Nilai ekonominya akan jatuh. Orang ini akan tinggi nilai ekonominya dan orang ini tidak ada nilai, terutama dalam dunia sekarang yang mana orang Cina, Jepun, Perancis dan Jerman pun belajar bahasa Inggeris.

Kenyataannya, bahasa Inggeris menjadi lingua franca dan kita pula tidak mahu belajar. Kita tidak mahu belajar sebab kita orang Melayu.

Datuk Seri, terdapat sedikit kebimbangan di kalangan pegawai pelaksana tentang guru-guru yang akan mengajar dalam bahasa Inggeris tidak bersedia dan sebagainya. Itu kita baru bercakap bagi Tahun Satu, tetapi kalau Datuk Seri hendak laksanakan secara serentak, kita boleh bayangkan masalahnya.

DR. MAHATHIR: Kalau kita hendakkan sesuatu, kita perlu terus selesaikan masalah sepanjang masa. Bila kita menghadapi sesuatu masalah, kita tidak boleh kata inilah penyelesaiannya. Kalau kita laksanakan kita akan berjaya, tidak. Penyelesaian itu tidak sepenuhnya betul. Semasa kita melaksanakan, kita akan jumpa bermacam-macam masalah lagi.

Tugas kita ialah mengatasi masalah. Kita perlu teruskan. Begitulah cara kita menangani krisis kewangan. Tiap-tiap hari kita duduk berbincang bagaimana hendak mengatasi masalah.

Datuk Seri, apakah perubahan-perubahan yang berlaku dalam beberapa bulan ini yang orang Melayu anggap sebagai perubahan drastik, boleh dilihat sebagai petanda awal ke arah penghapusan hak istimewa orang Melayu?

DR. MAHATHIR: Pada saya, yang pertama, itu bukan langkah awal untuk menghapuskan hak istimewa orang Melayu. Yang kedua, saya anggap hak istimewa orang Melayu adalah satu tongkat. Dan kalau kita selalu guna tongkat, sampai bila pun kita tempang.

Dengan lain perkataan, akan sampai satu masa kelak di mana hak ini akan dihapuskan.

DR. MAHATHIR: Kalau kita sudah jadi kaya, boleh beli harta Cina dan orang lain semuanya, kita lebih pandai daripada Cina, kalau kita masuk dalam pertandingan kita menang, apa perlunya hak istimewa orang Melayu. Orang Cina di Malaysia tidak ada hak istimewa. Mereka menghadapi diskriminasi. Tetapi mereka lebih berjaya daripada kita.

Pada fikiran Datuk Seri, kenapa orang Melayu begitu bimbang akan kehilangan hak istimewa ini?

DR. MAHATHIR: Mereka tidak ada keyakinan. Sebab itu saya minta mereka lihat bagaimana (Datuk) Azhar Mansor belayar seorang diri keliling dunia. Bila orang Melayu jumpa dia, mereka tanya dia pakai ilmu apa, mereka ingat Azhar boleh dapat ilmu ajaib yang boleh bawa dia keliling dunia.

Jika tidak ada lagi hak istimewa Melayu, apakah kita kembali seperti Malayan Union yang UMNO tentang dahulu?

DR. MAHATHIR: Kita tentang Malayan Union dulu kerana mereka beri semua sama rata pada waktu orang Melayu cukup lemah. Dalam keadaan Melayu begitu lemah, mereka akan hilang semua. Sekarang bukan kita hendak beri semua. Kita cuma beri 10 peratus saja, supaya dengan itu orang Melayu dapat uji kebolehannya.

Saya ada bercakap dengan Kolej Tunku Abdul Rahman (Kolej TAR), sebab apa tidak masukkan orang Melayu. Mereka kata ia terbuka, bila-bila masa mereka boleh masuk. Kita sediakan mereka biasiswa tetapi budak Melayu tidak mahu pergi ke Kolej TAR. Sebab apa, Cina banyak sangat dan mereka pandai-pandai pula. Tak ada permohonan Melayu ke Kolej TAR. Orang India ada juga mohon, tapi Melayu tidak mahu.

Pemuda UMNO ada membuat sedikit penyelidikan yang antara sebab Melayu tidak mahu belajar di IPTS kerana pertama tiada surau untuk bersembahyang dan satu lagi soal makanan, takut makanan yang dijual bukan halal.

DR. MAHATHIR: Kalau begitu tidak perlu pergi belajar ke luar negara. Kalau kita pergi England, takkan mereka sediakan surau di dalam Universiti Cambridge, di Universiti Nottingham. Boleh kita tentukan makanan semuanya disembelih, mereka tidak makan babi? Apa lagi alasan yang hendak kita beri?

Dasar 10 peratus kepada bukan bumiputera. Bolehkah Datuk Seri beri satu jaminan bahawa ia akan kekal 10 peratus?

DR. MAHATHIR: Bukan saya yang boleh beri jaminan. Ini untuk masa depan. Mengenai masa depan ini saya tidak tahu. Saya mungkin tiada lagi.

Apakah harapan Datuk Seri kepada ahli-ahli UMNO menjelang perhimpunan kali ini selepas Datuk Seri memimpin selama 21 tahun?

DR. MAHATHIR: Saya gagal (ketawa sinis). Saya gagal mencapai perkara yang lebih penting - bagaimana hendak mengubah orang Melayu. UMNO pun kadang-kadang menjadi rosak kerana terlampau berebut hendak dapatkan tempat sampai sanggup kalau tidak dapat tempat, bagi orang UMNO kalah.

Tidakkah itu satu kenyataan yang penuh kekecewaan?

DR. MAHATHIR: Tak tahulah… nak kata kecewa. Tapi saya bercakap berkenaan benda yang benar dan nyata. Saya tidak suka berselindung. Saya tidak suka menjadi begitu diplomatik. Saya kata apa yang saya fikir benar. Kalau orang kata tidak benar, tidak apalah. Tapi ini yang saya rasa dan lihat.

Katalah jam dapat diputar ke belakang dan Datuk Seri berada pada 28 Jun 1981, hari pertama Datuk Seri menjadi Presiden UMNO. Apa yang akan Datuk Seri lakukan?

Dr. Mahathir: Saya mahu jadi ahli biasa sahaja (sekali lagi ketawa sinis). Sebab saya tak boleh buat apa-apa (untuk mengubah orang Melayu).